Tis the year of covid 19 aka miss Rona but I don’t want to talk about that. Why would I? All the news channels, youtubers, instagrammers, neighbours, pets and even ghosts are talking about it so, why should I?
I wanna talk about: my self.
Ironically enough there’s not much I have to say… mm… well if we were to talk about mangas and animes and xianxia novels and emotional support kpop boys, maybe I could write endlessly and then explode into oblivion.
But today I’m gonna rant about the lack of space, both physical and otherwise, when you’re living in a desi household. I am writing this post because thank god my parents are now asleep and wont call me every five seconds for one thing or the other. And the weird existence of my exes in my life…
Also for some reason, it’s a very weird day for me. I’ve rediscovered Tokyo Ghoul and my obsessed self cant stop the feels from Unravel playing.
MUST. CALM. DOWN!!!
As we’re talking about Tokyo Ghoul, I cant help but recall my absolute favorite quote from Ken Kaneki: “The world isn’t bad. It just is.” And I cant help but grimace as I witness the revolutionary Black Lives Matter movement in the United States and other countries where racism based on color is heavily existent. I’m mostly passive to politics and related things but this must be said: Its not just the police officers who are being called out on their unfair practices, it’s the complete thought process! BLACK LIVES MATTER!
And happy pride month people! Love knows no bounds 🙂
It never fails to baffle me how we as humans are capable of sensing, feeling, imparting and receiving love tenfold better than other organisms but fail to deliver where its needed the most, blinded by social norms and the need to conform. Truly sad, innit?
All of this (much needed) ruckus in the world has caused even my hermit self to face the day light, squint at my laptop and write away angrily in a rush just to be a part of the voices in this tough time, just wanting to be heard.
Sigh, what I wouldn’t give to just go back to my sulky self and immerse myself into the quarter life crisis questioning the purpose of my existence and my self worth and why I matter because what would I be if not a true millennial writing this post during an ongoing pandemic?
Anyhow, I digress.
MY DOG TURNED TWO THAT LITTLE PIECE OF SH–!!
I love him but he needs to stop peeing everywhere. No worries. Tis doggeth shall be trained.
I want to insert a wistful paragraph here about something out of my grasp and indirecting stuff at people but this time I wanna address something.
WHY MUST A GIRL MARRY ONCE SHE IS 22+ ??????
This might hit a nerve but! Isn’t there more to life than being a trophy wife to someone? Am I not allowed to risk some things to achieve other things? Why o why must I put the happiness of my parents and my future partner (if there is one) before my own self, knowing completely well that if I were to compromise for their sakes, I would hate myself for the rest of my life for not being able to do what I could have?
Sometimes I really, REALLY hate the Asian society for making me feel like a burden on my parents because I am of ‘age’. What utter bullshit.
Here goes a poem after a long long time because it wouldn’t be my blog if there wasn’t one of these. And this one is so cryptic even I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote this. maybe relating to be selfish for my own happiness?
Is it me or is it you who is
Boasting of this rumble, with
A storm inside my heart
Begging me not to be humble
And take what I want
What I need for me to be
and to continue to live
Without the shackles in my feet
And soar the skies high
Feeling the wind caress me
For this crown must not waver,
Bowing to everlasting fear
I am me, a force of nature
Don’t fool me with your honeyed words
for what I am now, and what I will be
is something only I and I can see
There must have been many things which have been left unsaid even in this blog update, maybe I’ll notice and come around to address them.
Another update: I’ve improved a lot on the ukulele and am now planning to improve my piano skills cause I wanna play some Canon in D and feel like a yiruma prodigy (jk jk)
Until next time, stay safe, stay home and wash them hands bruh!