Excerpt From My Life.

Here I am. Again. It’s been a while. 

I’ve craved the woodsy smell of paper and the ink stains on my hands. I’ve missed seeing my handwriting on paper, I’ll be honest. And I’ve missed getting lost in the thought of someone or something so much so that I forget I am supposed to be writing about them. I’ve missed the aloofness.

And these cravings have been satiated now, surprisingly, because of you. Yes surprisingly because you, my dear, are the source of all of my cravings, the epitome of all my wants.

But you never fulfilled them. 

Yet, here I sit with a thoughtful expression on my face, trying to relive all the memories of us. Reminiscing. Its nothing big. Just need to remind myself how I once perceived perfection’s human incarnate.

Oh yes. You were that important.

Hmm. You. Us.

Sigh.

Nostalgia is such a strong emotion. But so is repulsion. And you, my dear, have made me experience both of them together. 

And one more. The strongest one, which I desperately wish to feel again but despise with equal fervour.

Quite the peculiar one, I must admit: Love. 

And so I believe we’ve arrived at the plot twist.

Hmm. Love.

Yes, yes. I know. How sappy, pathetic and mainstream it is.
But, I also happen to know how wonderful, amazing and beautiful it is. 

Pardon. Was.

There we go! Past tense and love! One of the craziest combinations of all times and admittedly, the most gut wrenching because the ending is almost always a very, very sad one. It would probably make the monster under your bed sob of sadness. 

But we’re human! What are we if not survivors?

So, instead of cursing you to death for not loving me and breaking my heart and whatnot, I would like to thank you for being an utter a** and giving me a good taste of the real world. 

Damn. You really hurt me but you were the real deal. 

So, it’s okay. I guess. I’ve learned to survive because of you.

I hope we have no ice between us.

I will forever hope for your wellbeing and also that you never find love again only to crush it to nothingness, again. 

So, thats that. I guess I can go on about writing lovesick poems and ballads about you now. 

Until I find another craving!

Yours Truly,

M.

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Picture credits: @icapturethee ❤ on Instagram