I wish to say so many things to you. So many thoughts I wish to say out loud but alas I can’t find the words. Its silly, really.
But what’s the harm in trying right? So here goes.
See, we’ve been through a lot, haven’t we? Of course we have. We’ve come a long way from being strangers. Here we are now, on the crossroads where calling each other friends won’t do justice to the relationship that we have. Definitely more than friends but arguably not lovers.
Being affectionate towards each other was normal for us, especially in our own unique ways. I’m referring to you and me calling each other some crazy names and also the time where we threatened to destroy some essential belongings of each other’s. Also let’s not forget the physical proximity and those rare but kind and hugely impactful gestures.
See, the problem is, somewhere through the journey, my affection grew but not yours. I tried to not let it get to me because believe it or not, it would have affected the way things were between us, however they were– good or bad, doesn’t matter.
Also, you being in love with someone else didn’t really help my situation.
So, here I am, writing a letter to you which you would never read, I’ll make sure of it. One might say, “Yeah, sure. You’re posting it online!” Don’t worry, I’m covered. My love doesn’t like reading stuff. Chill.
Coming back, I have distanced myself from you, physically and virtually at least and you know that. There’s a strong possibility of you never hearing from me again, ever; and as much as I hope for it to happen, I know you’re not going to contact me either. You just aren’t like that, you know? Like the ones who make effort for someone they care about. At least in this case, you’re not. And if you have a problem in showing that you care I guess its good that we’re parting ways.
You’re gonna be fine without me. You know it, I know it. Can’t say the same about myself.
In any case, until this humongous feeling of love that I have for you goes away from my mind and my heart, I’ll keep looking at your pictures, at our pictures, and I’ll keep walking down the memory lane, reminiscing about our precious times together.
Until I fall out of love with you,
Yours and only yours,
P.S. I never got the chance to say this out loud but I fucking love you.